Laudus Himself

In the sci-fi future when a pill gives you the feeling of a full, delicious meal, will there be a cheaper meal version or will all pills be equal? All meals are not equal, and with blissful ignorance I have swerved ordering food on short haul flights because I’m a food bigot. Nothing on the Ryanair menu is going to be any good, surely, just eat a disappointing Wetherspoons in the terminal and order Pringles and gin on the plane. That’s how travelling works. My girlfriend's niece, who is thirteen, loves a Ryanair lasagne, which I initially laughed at. Returning from Ireland, the Limerick airport breakfast was so horrid, dry and expensive I baulked. I'm not averse to a microwave meal, which is all I'm expecting from a pasta dish made in the sky. I needed some sauce. Did the phrase sky high prices come about because aeroplanes are expensive? You’re literally a captive audience and if you don’t cough up that cash who knows what the pilot will do! People went on a flight, had t...

Until I was about seventeen I was a fairly convinced Catholic, but now I’m an atheist. One experience put me on a path away from the belief in God. I’d done all the Catholic stuff. Waiting ages to excitedly be finally allowed to shuffle along in mass to eat the biscuits and drink the wine which tastes more like sherry. Saying sorry to God, which to be honest always felt forced because a priest had to be there, you have to really trust the Priest no matter what they tell you about their neutrality.  If God can hear my prayers in my head he no doubt knows when I’ve been a naughty little Adam. Then I did that thing where you confirm you are a Catholic. I was assured at the time this was a big deal and I remember liking it mainly because at the meetings there were girls, and as I was at a Catholic all boys school by fifteen girls had become somewhat alien to me. Now they had breasts, although one girl did have them at primary school, which fascinated us little lads. But she also had ha...

Pride comes before a fall There are a million ways you can be tackled in rugby, and they all hurt. The tap tackle is more painful than most, because it injures your pride. Rugby is a brutal, bruising contact sport where keeping control of the ball while pushing through pulverising hits is pivotal. The moment you know you are free of the pain and that white try line approaches, Elysium and eternal glory beckon. That’s all in your head and you don’t need to get hurt to be hurt in rugby, your confidence can be ripped from you along with the air in your lungs, by a tap tackle. The first time I was truly cut down by one I was a schoolboy. My stupid little scrum half legs got me free of the chase, in a game of sevens because I’m not so good I can really do it on a full pitch of fifteen. Scampering towards the immortal score, before I had time to know what was going on I was choking on grass, winded and confused. Nobody else was confused, they’d seen it. My bell well and truly rung, I got to ...

by Arron Phelps-Gardiner Rugby is going to war, you ride into battle every Saturday and play for the team and not as an individual. Well I did anyway. It also allows you to get rid of the week's frustrations in a positive environment. I started at secondary school but didn't start playing properly for a team until 1997. It's part of my identity, rugby, I started coaching at Chipstead RFC with the U5s, I finished my youth coaching journey last season with my players finishing Colts (U18s). I always wanted to cross the white line with my players and my son but this was brutally taken from me in the accident. So the next best thing was to take on a coaching role. I have had eleven of my players playing senior rugby and six playing for the first team this season. I think you can say I've done my job as a coach. I was playing for the British and Irish Lions Wooden Spoon national team. We were playing against Sterling RFC in Sterling when I was tackled illegally and snapped ...

Exam Question 1.1. LAS VEGAS IS A HELL OF A  PLACE [OF HELL]: DISCUSS Las Vegas: Part 1 , Part 2 , Part 3 , Part 4 Las Vegas: The Good, The Bad and The Weird The Good The Boxing I mean, just obvious this one. Talked about throughout my other posts. Sustenance. The Weather English people love a moan about the weather, “Oh I like it hot but not this hot. This is too hot.” Stay in England then, and have the weather you deserve. I like it 30-40 degrees and in a country which is actually set up to cater for it. I'd probably pick Greece over the USA though. Maybe. I haven't thought that through. I loved going for little walks in the heat. Flying Virgin Atlantic They’re just really good. Way better than Delta, which I know is a low bar, and I'm aware Branson is single handedly buying out the NHS. Whatever, I'll take my free wine as (partial) compensation. More wine Branson, you dick! Smooth Eats Their ginger shots there I’ve have unsuccessfully...

I am now unbound by writing for work. So expect more expletives, and honesty. All my own opinion, with added grumpiness. Our long walk on the day of arrival around the epicentre of the madness that is Las Vegas taught me that while the Strip is a marvel, it is not marvellous. I don’t like clubbing or shopping and it is essentially one huge hybrid of those things. However, there’s plenty more to Las Vegas than the strip. I hoped. I had to hope. I was raised Catholic, it’s all we had, and it has stuck. Before I could explore beyond gaudy ground zero, though, I had to contend with a sore throat and a general overwhelming feeling of lethargy. I've never travelled 8 hours (and arguably 40 years) into the past before. We went to the gym we’d wandered into on the Thursday evening on Friday, and beforehand got some breakfast at a diner/ burger type place. I had already worked out that eating was going to be a problem for two reasons. Firstly, I have lost a stone and a half late...